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Nothing is more irritating to author Connie Goldman than the stereotypes out there about older people and sex -- especially the one about seniors not having sex.


Posted March 31, Reviewed by Lybi Ma. This problem is more prevalent than many men admit. Fortunately, with a few adjustments, elder sex can feel as fulfilling as ever—maybe even better. If elder men can raise erections, they usually owe them to Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra.

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However, for many most? Bottom line: Most men over 65 bid farewell to erections and penis-in-vagina intercourse and opt for other pleasures; mutual genital hand massage, oral sex, and toys.

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Studies abound showing that later-life sexual function decline can be delayed with a healthy lifestyle: daily exercise, no tobacco, a plant-based dietsleeping eight hours a night, and no more than two alcoholic drinks a day. Alas, no. As sexual elder-hood hit me below the belt, I stamped around the house, cursing Fate. Get a grip.

How sex changes with aging (& what you can do about it)

Eventually, I did. This bears repeating: In an erotic context, with a supportive lover, men with semi-firm or even completely flaccid penises, can still experience great fun between the sheets capped by satisfying orgasms.

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In one study HydeAustralian aging researchers surveyed the health and sexuality of 3, mostly white, independent-living men age 75 to 95 average age Compared with the whole group, erection problems were considerably more prevalent among men with regular sex partners. This is not surprising. In solo sex, you only have yourself to please.

Older men: rethinking a healthy sex life

The same was true for both premature ejaculation and difficulty ejaculating. Men having only solo sex have better ejaculatory control than those who have partner sex. Finally, a good deal of direct-to-consumer advertising pitches older men on testosterone supplementation and many physicians are happy to prescribe it.

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Testosterone level had nothing to do with erection, orgasmor ejaculatory control. As part of the Adelaide Male Aging Study Martin,a different group of Australian researchers asked men, age 65 to 80, about their health, libido, and erections. Risk factors for low libido included: anxiety, depressioninsomniasedentary lifestyle, and more than two alcoholic drinks a day.

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Risk factors for ED included: anxiety, depression, diabetes, insomnia, cancer, smoking, obesity especially pot bellyhigh blood pressure medication, more than two alcoholic drinks a day, and obstructive sleep apnea OSA. Surprisingly, OSA, little investigated for ED, was the health problem most closely associated with it. OSA from either a loss of muscle tone in throat tissue, or obesity-related excess throat tissue.

People with apnea mostly men exhibit persistent snoring interrupted by choking silences that temporarily shut down airflow into the lungs. The breathing interruption sets off biological alarms that rouse the person, which restores airflow. But OSA disrupts sleep and reduces the amount of oxygen in the blood. Erection depends, in part, on normal blood oxygen.

Apnea reduces it and contributes to ED. So somewhere between half and 90 percent of men over 65 suffer some level of ED. That's depressing.

Sex can be more enjoyable than when you were younger

However, elderly couples who wish to remain sexual can still enjoy great sex and orgasms—if they make a few simple erotic adjustments:. I would love to hear from older men and women involved with them.

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What can you add about the real sex lives of men over 65? Approves Sale of Impotence Pill. Huge Market Seen.

Sex and aging

Banner, L. Chia, S. DeBusk, R. May, M. Melnik T. Mulhall, J. Pickering, T. Hyde, Z. Martin, S. Michael Castleman, M. He has written about sexuality for 36 years. Worry is driven by mood, not logic. Anxiety holds your deepest yearnings.

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And you can subdue it for good. Three experts turn everything you know about anxiety inside out.

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Michael Castleman M. All About Sex. Sex Essential Re. The studies of the sex lives of men over 65 Hyde, Z. About the Author. Online: WebsiteFacebookTwitter. Read Next.

How to have great sex until you’re 90

Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness.

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Family Life Child Development Parenting. View Help Index. Do I Need Help? Back Magazine. September A Sigh of Relief Worry is driven by mood, not logic. Back Today. Essential Re.

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What do you think of having sex with an older man?


If you're over 60, sex certainly isn't off the table.